Yakety Yack!

Okay.  So this is kind of a funny story. 

I was telling this story to a girlfriend the other day and she said “Kitty, you HAVE to write a blog about this.  So here goes. 

It's about a time that I had a date with a gentleman caller and brought him home on the first date. We had a lovely time together, and decided to make it a slumber party. Around three a.m. however, trouble began to brew. 

“I think I’m going to puke,” he said. 

We hadn’t been drinking copiously so I thought this odd.  He fumbled through the dark to the restroom and proceeded to violently yack up his dinner.  Like, we’re talking 'pull a muscle in your back' kind of yakking. He came back to bed and said he felt better.  I got up to get him a baggie just in case it happened again, tissues to blow his nose, water, and even peppermint oil to rub his back.  (My mom is a nurse, and I always wanted to be a candy striper as a kid).  He said he felt a lot better.  We went back to sleep. 

At 5am, violent yakking ensued once again.  The POOR GUY! I offered to call him a cab.  He said yes, as long as it didn’t offend me that he was leaving in the middle of the night.  I assured him that his chivalry was appreciated but not necessary and I sent him off, shivering and feverish, into the dark morning, with a fresh baggie in hand. 

It begs the question, WWSD?

What would a seducer do?

Both of us were in a compromising predicament.

If this was a movie (which was kind of what it felt like) the person in my role would probably be thinking “don’t let the door hit ya’!” as I kicked him out of my bed. This guy would then go home, tail between his legs, too mortified to ever contact me again.

But what actually happened is that after the dust settled, we found each other even more attractive than ever.  In the first 24 hours of our courtship, things had already gotten really REAL.  I got to see how he deals with embarrassment and sickness: sweetness, vulnerability and even a sense of humor.  He got to see how I dealt a vomiting suitor: with kindness, compassion, and empathy.  This experience laid the ground for a hilarious text exchange the next day, and him asking when he could see me again.  I told him that once his color turned from green back to normal, we could arrange to meet.

Isn’t it funny how the most unattractive of circumstances can foster an even greater attraction than if everything went “perfectly”? Hilarious I think. 

Seduction. A spiritual practice indeed.

Yakkity-yack, don’t talk back,

Kitty

How To Be Memorable

Lola Montez would wear a piece of flannel "in both places" and mail it to her lover King Ludwig I so that he could feel her against his own skin.  This one knew what she was doing. 

One of the trademark characteristics of a seductress is not just the enchantment of her presence; it is the way her presence lingers as she leaves her seductive mark.  This week I am sharing with you some of my top-secret tricks for leaving a mark on those you encounter, and by virtue, a powerful memory.

Flavored Lip-Gloss

Using just a touch of flavored lip gloss in the center of the lips applied for the purpose of a goodbye kiss, will leave your lover smacking on strawberry all day long, giving them a sensory trigger to remember what happened the last time they saw you.

The Art Of Seductive Fragrance

I always take Coco Chanel’s advice and apply my fragrance to the back of my neck, as that is where I most enjoy being kissed.  When I apply my fragrance, I do it sparingly. A fragrance that is too strong sends up a message of “don’t come any closer”, acting as an olfactory shield or barrier.  When perfume is applied discreetly it becomes inviting, beckoning someone to come closer.  A great way to get a person to come closer to drink from the potion of your fragrance is to ask if you can tell them a secret.   This could be anything, a real secret you’d like them to know, a whisper of how much you enjoy their company, etc.  Another seduction technique frequented by The Harlequin (the woman whose most seductive trait is her funny bone) is to say something like “can I tell you a secret? Come closer…. there’s a fish in my purse”.  Wait a beat, and then follow with “just kidding…I just wanted to get closer to you for a second, you smell so good.”  Works every time.

Photo: Beth Mayesh

Wear Something Remarkable

My stylist friend Hilary Rushford recently told me “if you want to look remarkable, wear something that people will remark on”.  I remember when I got to the final interview for my dream job once. I made a bold statement by wearing a flaming red pants suit.  When I left the job 6 years later, the woman who interviewed me told me that was something she would never, ever forget, and was one of the reasons she hired me in the first place. 

Bubble Yum

Before a date, I sometimes buy a pack of bubble-yum so that I show up with sweet, pink, bubbly breath.  The sight and smell of bubble yum is not only enjoyable, it conjures up memories of being a kid and having a crush on the girl with pink bubble gum in her mouth. Tee-hee!

Leave Something Behind

My friend Veronica Varlow talks about the magic of our hairpins.  A hairpin contains your unique magic, and leaving one behind in a bathroom or on a pillow leaves a reminder of you.  I like to do this with costume jewelry like a bangle here or there.  Once I left a tissue with my lipstick on it on a bathroom sink, which received rave reviews.  Or if you are feeling really saucy, leaving your panties lost in the blankets of a lover’s bed will definitely get the message across.  Double tee-hee!

Glitter

Whenever I perform burlesque I absolutely shower myself in glitter.  Glitter is very contagious, it seems like if you just look in a persons direction with glitter on you leave them in a sheen of your fairy dust.  Giving people a hug or a kiss on the cheek with glitter on always leaves a sparkly reminder of that one moment when they got to bask in your heavenly, shining presence.

Glitter sandwich with Vivi La Voix

Photo: Beth Mayesh

Whatever your mark is, it is divine, as it is a reminder of you

One time I had makeup all over my hand and I accidentally touched a wall in the home of a gentleman caller, leaving a giant handprint on the wall.  I was so embarrassed! But wouldn’t you know, a year later, that handprint was still there? And it is not by accident.  Remember that anything that serves as a reminder of you is magic, because you are magic. 

Be bold sweet friends!

Love,

Kitty Cavalier

PS - October 25-27th seduction retreat is down to the last spot!! I am so excited to share all the good stuff at this retreat.  Retreats are my favorite thing to teach, as they are where I have the luxury of time to let all my teachings saturate you like a sponge.  This experience is three days of ritual, dance, exercises and love shared between powerful seductive women.  I would love to have you join this sacred circle of seduction.