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Saturday, February 16, 2013

The Best Valentine's Day Of My Life (so far)

I like Valentines Day.  I know some people don’t, but I do.  It is a holiday that inspires romance, and romance is very important to me. I understand the Valentines Day Haters. The head-trip of Valentines Day, as it is with all commercial holidays, is that it can be a total set up for disappointment.  For example, Christmas doesn’t really feel like Christmas without the fireplace, presents, family, eggnog, etc. (Even if you don’t like eggnog, presents, or your family). Valentine’s Day without the flowers, cards, chocolates, balloons, lingerie and sex, can sometimes inspire a sense of failure or emptiness.

What a bunch of hoo-ha.

Valentine roses gracing my nightstand.
Thank you Mr. Cavalier.

My day started with my husband returning from a morning run, sweaty and red faced, presenting me with yellow roses.  I could have gotten mad that he didn’t buy pink and red ones the night before, and rouse me with their fragrance while wearing a tuxedo, but come on, we’re all just trying to live our lives here. His spontaneity and sweaty face made the delivery even more special.

I then headed out to meet my dear friend and inspiration Kate Northrup, for a deliriously funny and heartfelt interview on her web series, Glimpse TV.  On the way, I found three blank valentine’s in my purse that I had planned to send to family and friends.  Some may have used this un-accomplished task as a reason for self-flagellation. “Ugh, I’m such a procrastinator!” But a Sacred Seductress knows better.  She knows that procrastination is simply evidence that her original plan did not really seduce her, and there is clearly an even better one in progress already. 

 I had a pack of pink bubble gum in my purse as well as the valentines, so I dropped a piece of gum into the envelope and signed the card:


Je T'aime. 
Hubba Bubba.


She loved it. So did I. Perfection.

After the interview I took my happy, rosy-cheeked self to Tea and Sympathy to meet my living, breathing valentine, Vivi Le Voix - opera burlesque extraordinaire. There she was, waiting on the bench outside, wearing a bright red dress with perfect red lips, drenched in sunlight.  As I approached her I thought “Wow, if that is my best friend, I am doing something seriously right!” We embraced and then sat down to rose petal tea and heart shaped scones.  Swoon. 

Is she Valentines Day embodied
or WHAT??

I remembered that there were two valentines left in my purse, and suggested to Vivi that she and I write them to each other.   I leaned over to the gentlemen at the table next to us and asked if they had a pen. The four of us struck up a conversation about theatre, Buddhism and people we happened to have in common. They were so lovely.  As we turned away to write our cards to each other, I nudged Vivi under the table and whispered, “Let’s write the cards to THEM!” She enthusiastically agreed.

Mine said:

Seduced by the scones

Happy day of love, romance, cupid, charm and cheek. I love you already!

Kitty Cavalier

As they were getting ready to leave, we silently slipped them our secret Valentines.  They were bowled over with delight. Stealth Love Bomb Success!

As if things could get any better, I then went to Sacred Brooklyn, an amazing movement studio in Clinton Hill.  We were celebrating One Billion Rising, the dance movement started by Eve Ensler to end violence against women and girls.  It was an incredible night of dance and passion. I had the privilege of teaching choreography to “Break The Chain” the One Billion Rising theme dance.  Students always thank the teacher after class (and I so appreciate that) but really, we teachers are the most fortunate ones.   When you teach, you are basically saying a prayer to God of “Use me”.  There is no greater honor. 

After that rush of endorphins, power and divinity, I pedaled my bike over to a local bar to meet my beloved for a Valentines cocktail.  He doesn’t like it when I share the details of our sweet, precious love with the whole Internet, so I will not.  I will however share this photo of us in that moment.

The most important thing I learned this Valentines Day is that seduction requires substance.  All the rose petals, heart shaped boxes and champagne in the world cannot compete with real love, real friendship, and real generosity of spirit.  I am so grateful.

Lastly, I was recently reminded by my friend Veronica Varlow of a practice we did in her class of writing a love letter to one’s self.  The object was to write as though we were an artist writing about a beloved muse. I will leave you with that letter.  To love my friends, to love!
Veronica et Moi

My dearest, most darling inspiration,

That which inspires my every breath. That which reshapes me every moment.  That which lets me know that God, Goddess, Heaven, the Angels, are all alive and well. 

I want you to know that every drop of you, every breath, every heartbeat, every thought, every word you speak is steeped deep in Divinity.

When you awaken, the Angels cry out in rapture.  When you retire, the moon takes its slow, sweet time, as it doesn't want to miss a moment where it gets to caress your skin. 

Do me a favor.  Never go fast.  Go slow.  Take your time.  Do everything with this deliberate knowing of your magnificence. If you do this, we will all be OK.

I adore you.

PS - Veronica Varlow is back at The School of Charm and Cheek on March 23rd with her new class "Journey In Seduction".  We just released it last week and it is already half full.  Grab your spot while you can!


  1. You're so cheeky and awesome, Kitty! I love hearing about your valentines day deliciousness!

    Blow you sexy kisses of sparkling moon drops ;)


  2. Love, love, love!!! You are such a joy. Thank you for being you, and for your lovely reminders of just loving and being in every moment. I miss you!
    SG Seductress (aka Sydel)

  3. Divine!
    What a lovely lovely day!
    Heart shaped scones-yum.
    Thank you for being you,
    Pepper Monteray