How To Rock The F*ck Out With Big Change

Lately everything in my world is changing. The super-moon super-effed up life as I knew it. When life changes, they say you should try to keep some things the same in order to retain a sense of normalcy.  I say: poppycock. 

The only way I have been able to cope with the tilt-a-whirl I’ve been on is to just get on the change party bus and rock out with it.  This week’s blog is chock full of photos and stories that show how I’ve been using change as jet fuel for my extreme makeover: life edition.

1. Change your hair

Really, nothing gives you a new lease on life like getting new hair.  Bangs especially.  Kat at Alice Hair is my go to girl.  Even if she thinks what I want is crazy (like bangs in the summer) she always listens and gives me exactly what I want. Plus, she is like, the cutest thing on two legs.

I really DO heart Alice Hair

2. Open yourself to learning something totally new

Thank the Good Freaky Honey In The Sky that I was recently introduced to the amazing Gala Darling.  This super-inspiring, style starlet is the author of an amazing blog, and one of the headmistresses of The Blogcademy.  The Blogcademy is a weekend program Gala put together with Kat Williams (Rock & Roll Bride) and Shauna Haider (Nubby Twiglet).  They are all awesome. Each has a cult following and a super-successful blog. At The Blogcademy they generously spill the sauce on how it’s done.  There are so many blog and business courses out there that are so DRY-sville.  These girls pack a super stylish, feminine, power-punch that has inspired the pants right off me to take my business and blog to the next level.  Recommendation level: HIGH

Shauna, Gala, Kat.
Try to resist them.  Just try.
Photo by Karen Gilbert

3. Surround yourself with people that inspire you

Nothing clears the cobwebs like hanging out with a badass femme-fatale that inspires you to think bigger, dream bigger, and be more.  Enter Veronica Varlow.  This woman has been my seduction muse for years and one of my treasured guest teachers at the School of Charm and Cheek.  This weekend we taught a secret class to a select group of women called “advanced sex magic”. In a candlelit apartment in the West Village, blindfolds were tied, spells were cast, spirits were remembered, and necks were bitten.  It was a devilishly sexy good time, and learning from Veronica reminded me that I am on this Earth in service to seduction.  And come on, is there a better gig out there than that one? Me thinks not. 

Me and V.  Swoonity Swoon. 

4. Surround yourself with people, period.

Working from home means that sometimes I am home 24 hours per day and do not leave the apartment.  This is nice sometimes, but if I do it more than 2 days in a row I start to go naa-huts.  Just taking my computer to Little Zelda, my local coffee shop is fueling my creative fire, which is a refreshing alternative to the stalled train feeling I was having at home.  Plus, it is right next door to Rosebud Vintage, where last week I scored this 1930’s dressing gown.  Recommendation level: also high. 

a Rosbud Vintage gem

5. Set up your “cozy zone”

Okay.  So you know my big thing is to be transparent and vulnerable in my writing.  This confession might be the farthest I’ve ever gone.  Ladies and Gents, I love the show Nashville.  It is so B List, and the acting and storyline can be so bad, but Connie Britton is one of my icons.  Her presence, alongside the southern drawls and ABC primetime drama just puts me in my cozy zone. At night I shower, lotion, put on my hot pink slip and curl up on the couch.  All the candles are lit, the house is quiet and clean, and I let my mind relax into the cotton candy of a sitcom.  When I get home and have a long evening ahead, I can always visit my cozy zone for something to do.

6. Music, always

Whether I am writing, cleaning, or going #1, I always have music playing in the background.  Just like a love scene would not be complete without a score, big life changes are not the same without a soundtrack.  Check out this playlist for what’s been revving my engines lately, as well as this music by my genius friend Nikki Vly. She has great anthems for kickin' ass and takin' names. Flatnose is my current fave. 

7. Hang fabric from your ceiling…or something. 

Adjusting to change is easier when things are pretty.  I recently bought white canvas slipcovers, a candle lantern, a few throw pillows and some fabric for the ceiling. Voila! My dark drab living room is suddenly transformed into a seduction bungalow, all for about $300.  Every time I walk into this space, it reminds me that change is actually good. (keep an eye out for an upcoming feature about seduction in the home).

So there you have it. Kitty’s guide for coping with big change.  What are your most trusted rituals and practices for navigating choppy seas? I’d love to hear from you.

With love and paint covered fingertips (attacking the kitchen now),

Kitty Cavalier

PS  - This week kicked off my online program “Your Seductress: Unveiled”.  We are having riotous amounts of fun, aren’t we girls? For those of you who didn’t sign up before the 1^st, or were too scared and are now wishing you had, the barn doors will remain open until 10pm Wednesday night.  After that the doors close, so if you want to join the party, come on IN!