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Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Seductive Values

When it comes to being a seductress, there are thousands of ways to expand your power.  Few carry the same potency however, than knowing your seductive values.

Our values are the things that we most deeply cherish, the things we will go to any lengths to uphold.  Using seduction as a spiritual practice, rather than a game of control, can sometimes lead to great confusion.  Before facing decisions in this way, you may have chosen a raw cacao chocolate because it was healthier, but you find yourself eating a Hershey’s kiss because that is what truly seduced you in that moment.  Or perhaps you are faced with the decision of going to the opera, and while it is something you have always wanted to do, you are completely exhausted and certain that you will become ill if you don’t go home and go to bed this instant.  What’s a girl to do? How do we hone and tone the divining rod of our intuition to go towards what we most deeply crave?
Seductive education, a core value of mine
What makes a seductress as sleek and as certain as a jaguar is the way she knows and trusts in her seductive values. Our seductive values are like the little pots of paint that we swirl our brush into when we leave our mark on the world.  Knowing our values teaches us what truly seduces us to our core. It also gives us the power to create the things in our lives that we most desire to see manifest.

One of the questions I get most often about seduction is how to create more spark and sizzle in long-term relationships.  This is a rather complicated rubik's cube.  One of the ways I have found to ensure that there is more fire and desire is to make what is traditionally considered a sin into a seductive value.  This is the value of lust.

I have a very high lust-o-meter.  I need to have my ass grabbed, my hair pulled, and/or my neck bitten at least once a day in order to remember that I am alive.  I need to feel that passion and desire consistently, even if it is only for a second. Making lust into a value, just like financial security might be a value, allows me to prioritize neck biting with the same level of importance that I contribute to an IRA.

Cheekiness, also a core value
Another question that often comes up is seduction and money.  I was on the phone with my friend and teacher Denise Cooper of Sexy Money Now the other day, and she and I were talking about how when you become aware of your inner seductress, you sometimes want to buy everything in sight.  In fact, this is one of the main reasons that people avoid seduction.  They think if they listen to what is seducing them in each moment, they’ll spend through their savings in a week.  Denise reminded me that when we know and trust our values, we have a touchstone to come back to in these whirlwind moments of desire. (Click here to hear an awesome interview with Denise about seduction and money. She also has a kick-ass webinar coming up about quitting your day job.  Get in, get on!)

For example, buying a white Calvin Klein suit may be seducing you, but paying off your debt and becoming financially stable is one of your values.  You might still decide to buy the suit anyway.  It’s not about right or wrong.  But when you know your values, you are able to connect with the depth of the ocean of your desire, rather than just the white foam swirling on top.

Some of my seductive values are:

Big, Big Love
My relationship with friends and family, and anything that connects me to that deep, mystical, nourishing ribbon of love that runs through my life is my top, number one value.

Beauty is absolutely one of my core values.  I would rather eat ramen noodles for a week than have to go without my Ruby Woo lipstick.  That being said, this value is not just about spending money. I create beauty when I choose to do my laundry over the spending an hour in an internet sinkhole.  I create beauty when I light candles to read myself to sleep.  Right now I have created beauty by opening all my windows to listen to the rain as I type.

Truth is of the utmost importance to me.  I don’t care how much it hurts to hear, if it ain’t the truth I don’t want it.  Equally, if there is an area of my life where I am not showing up as pure 100% Kitty Cavalier, it is reason for me to look at why that is and what can be done about it.

These are just some of the examples of seductive values that I cherish. I am dying to know yours! Click here to post your seductive values and tell me why you treasure them so.

With neck bites and ass grabs,

Kitty Cavalier

PS – Getting to know your seductress is kind of like learning about fine French wine.  It is a process that cannot be rushed, only explored more and more thoroughly.  In the upcoming September session of Your Seductress: Unveiled, I will take you on a tour through the deepest cellars of your seductive nature.  Click here to enroll and to learn more. 

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