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Monday, December 30, 2013

Yakety Yack!

Okay.  So this is kind of a funny story. 

I was telling this story to a girlfriend the other day and she said “Kitty, you HAVE to write a blog about this.  So here goes. 

It's about a time that I had a date with a gentleman caller and brought him home on the first date. We had a lovely time together, and decided to make it a slumber party. Around three a.m. however, trouble began to brew. 

“I think I’m going to puke,” he said. 

We hadn’t been drinking copiously so I thought this odd.  He fumbled through the dark to the restroom and proceeded to violently yack up his dinner.  Like, we’re talking 'pull a muscle in your back' kind of yakking. He came back to bed and said he felt better.  I got up to get him a baggie just in case it happened again, tissues to blow his nose, water, and even peppermint oil to rub his back.  (My mom is a nurse, and I always wanted to be a candy striper as a kid).  He said he felt a lot better.  We went back to sleep. 

At 5am, violent yakking ensued once again.  The POOR GUY! I offered to call him a cab.  He said yes, as long as it didn’t offend me that he was leaving in the middle of the night.  I assured him that his chivalry was appreciated but not necessary and I sent him off, shivering and feverish, into the dark morning, with a fresh baggie in hand. 

It begs the question, WWSD?

What would a seducer do?

Both of us were in a compromising predicament.

If this was a movie (which was kind of what it felt like) the person in my role would probably be thinking “don’t let the door hit ya’!” as I kicked him out of my bed. This guy would then go home, tail between his legs, too mortified to ever contact me again.

But what actually happened is that after the dust settled, we found each other even more attractive than ever.  In the first 24 hours of our courtship, things had already gotten really REAL.  I got to see how he deals with embarrassment and sickness: sweetness, vulnerability and even a sense of humor.  He got to see how I dealt a vomiting suitor: with kindness, compassion, and empathy.  This experience laid the ground for a hilarious text exchange the next day, and him asking when he could see me again.  I told him that once his color turned from green back to normal, we could arrange to meet.

Isn’t it funny how the most unattractive of circumstances can foster an even greater attraction than if everything went “perfectly”? Hilarious I think. 

Seduction. A spiritual practice indeed.

Yakkity-yack, don’t talk back,


1 comment:

  1. Oh-My-Goddess, I love this!!!!! Handled like a pro, with kindness AND finesse...