Seduction & My Mother

At least I could seduce her into showing off her sparkly top

If I had to choose who has been the biggest teacher of seduction in my life, it would be my mother.  As a child, I could seduce her into anything - hanging out with me, playing with me, letting me eat cookies, doing death defying stunts on a jungle gym, etc.  As a teenager I further refined my skills by pleading with her to buy me clothes, take me to McDonald’s for dinner and let me stay out late.  I became increasingly successful over the years.

As I’ve become an adult however, she’s toughened up a bit.

My Mom is, in fact, the toughest nut there is to crack.  When I want her to do something, she is the one person I know that no matter how hard I try to seduce her, I can’t get her to break unless she wants to.  Even then, it’s like dragging a boulder up a hill.   

I was on the phone with her the other day talking about the possibility of her coming to my May Seduction Retreat. Of course, I deeply, deeply desire for her to be there. She feels like the travel would be too much right now.  She just had a major surgery a few months ago and it takes a lot for her to get to the Northeast from the South.  My instinct upon hearing this was anger. “If she knew how important this was to me, she would come.”  I had the impulse to boss her into it, plead for her to come, or act nonchalant so as to try to trick her into it.  But this, my friends, is not seduction.  Not in the least.

There is a belief we have been taught about seduction that if we do not achieve the outcome we desire, we have failed in our seduction efforts.  This puts seduction in the realm of control and manipulation, assuming that a master seductress can get anything she wants, whenever she wants, through some sort of sneaky, unseen power. In my eyes however, this would be a move of insecurity and lack of trust.  The move of seduction is not to assert control, it is actually an act of giving up control.

How do we achieve seductive success 100% of the time? We acknowledge that seduction is a two-way street.  What I want the most for my retreat is to have a room full of women who REALLY want to be there. So I said to my Mom “look, I want you to be there, but only if you really want it. I am trusting you to trust your own intuition.”  Instantly we both felt better.  In saying this to her I had taken the seduction away from manipulation and into a place of MAGNETISM.  Magnets have the power to attract, and they also have the power to repel.  Seduction is a practice in surrendering to this force.  If I had asserted that my Mom must come to the retreat, she would resent me and resent being there.  By releasing my attachment to the outcome, I allow for my truth and her truth to intermingle, creating a whole new outcome – one that is far better than anything we could dream up on our own.

Will she come to the retreat? Stay tuned.

Will you come to the retreat? I am on the edge of my seat.  

Quiz - Are you a True Seductress?

Photo by Powerful Goddess Photography

In honor of Seduction Is A Spiritual Practice being right around the corner, I've put together a little quiz to help you determine where you fall in the Seduction spectrum. I would love to hear how you score, leave me a comment!

1. You go out on a date with a person you really like.  It’s been 12 hours, and you have yet to receive a text that says “I had a great time with you, let’s do it again sometime”. You:

a) Check your phone every 15 minutes in complete agony of whether or not you will hear from this person again. You’ve gone from walking on air to feeling like you are living at the bottom of a well, and hearing from them is the only thing that will pull you out.
b) Call your girlfriends to tell them what a fabulous date you had, and that you are freaking out that you haven’t heard anything.
c) You enjoy the excitement of the date to its fullest by writing a letter of gratitude in your journal, and do something really fun to keep yourself feeling fabulous. Then, you ask your intuition which would be more fun, to continue feeling the anticipation of hearing back, or to feel the thrill of sending the first text, and then the mystery of what will ensue next.

2. You get offered a promotion and a $10,000 raise at work. It means you will be working about 10 hours more per week. You:

a) Say yes immediately without hesitation. Even though it means going from 50 hours to 60 hours per week, sacrifice is just what it takes to get ahead.
b) Make a pro’s and con’s list, and evaluate if you want to take on this extra work.
c) Create a new proposal reduces your work week to 45 hours and negotiate for $5,000 more, as well as working a day from home so that you can take meetings from the bubble bath, where you are so much more efficient.  

3. You’ve eaten a beautiful meal at a fancy restaurant for your birthday, and the house sends over free dessert.  You are absolutely stuffed, and feel like you can’t eat another bite.  You:

a) Eat the whole dessert because you wouldn’t want to be rude, and it was free.  You can never turn down something that’s free, even if you don’t want it.  
b) Take a few bites even though it doesn’t even taste good.
c) Thank them profusely and say “oh, my meal was so delicious I couldn’t possibly eat another bite!” You ask them to wrap it up and the next day, you eat it on fine china after lunch, and find that at the last bite you are full again, so you save that last bite for later.

4. You are listening to your I Pod on the subway and at your favorite part of the song,  an attractive someone walks over and asks what you are listening to. You:

a) pretend not to hear them because you are so intimidated by people you find attractive that you freeze up completely.
b) blush and take out your ear buds to tell them the name of the song, even though you really wanted to hear that part you love!
c) place one of the ear buds it in their ear, and begin waltzing around the subway car as you sing along to the song, testing to see if they know the lyrics too.

5. Your best friend calls you to cancel your dinner date after you’ve already arrived at the restaurant.  You:

a) say “It’s ok!” then storm out of the restaurant in a rage, go home and make mac n’ cheese from a box and eat the whole thing plus a pint of ice cream because you deserve it after what she did to you.
b) say “Dude, I’m already here! A little more notice next time please?” She apologizes profusely and you forgive her, then you call a few more friends to see if they are up for coming out.
c) say “ok darling! whatever you need to do!” and decide to sit at the bar and treat yourself to dinner alone, trusting that the cancellation was actually a gift, and there is something even more magical about to unfold for you this night

Mostly a’s - You are in a seduction sinkhole and in need of dire help! You think seduction is stupid and useless, or that it is something that could never be accessible to you, you’re just not that kind of girl.
Mostly b’s - you have a practical approach to life but secretly long for more confidence to so you can take risks and get the things you really want
Mostly c’s - you are a Sacred Seductress through and through, dancing through life as you attract the things you want the most and happily refuse the things you don't

Regardless of where you fall in this quiz, all of us could use an adjustment when it comes to how we use the art of seduction in our day to day life. Why? None of us have been taught how to use seduction as a way to make our way through life with more pleasure and success. When we hear about seduction our minds instantly go to manipulation and sex.  But seduction is not just something that occurs between lovers.  True seduction is a way of making life itself your lover, and committing to the truest, most everlasting marriage you will ever have - the Divine as it expresses itself in you.

When you allow yourself to do the things that truly seduce you into surrender, you are allowing the Divine to use you to create art with every breath you take.   When you practice seducing the things you want, using magnetism rather than force, you are relinquishing the ego’s need for control and surrendering to the perfect mystery of the unexpected.  When you remove from your life anything that has not fully seduced you (people, objects, behaviors) you are eliminating the blocks that keep you from living your highest destiny.  When you can take equal pleasure from the things you have in your life, as you can from knowing that what you do not have simply has yet to fully seduce you, it is then that you are living Seduction as a Spiritual Practice.  

Nothing brings me more joy than teaching women this way of enjoying life.  On September 14th and 15th I will be teaching my signature workshop - Seduction Is A Spiritual Practice.  The transformations women are having after taking this class are incredible.  

There are only three spots remaining for the September session.  I would love to have you join us as we redefine and resurrect the ancient, holy, powerful secrets of the Sacred Seductress.
 

What’s included in this class: 

• A full day and 1/2 with Kitty Cavalier as she teaches you ancient secrets of the great Seductress, and how to use these secrets to increase your magnetism, use the power of seduction for the highest good of all, and bring more fun, joy and  pleasure into your life.
• The Seduction Is a Spiritual Practice Workbook
• A 30 day subscription to "Kitnip", a daily email with an inspiring quote from a Seductress in history
• Email coaching with Kitty following the class
• A follow up Tele-Class with Kitty and  your fellow Seductresses, where the most important secret of seduction will be revealed.

ENROLL NOW!