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Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Seduction & My Mother


At least I could seduce her into showing off her sparkly top

If I had to choose who has been the biggest teacher of seduction in my life, it would be my mother.  As a child, I could seduce her into anything - hanging out with me, playing with me, letting me eat cookies, doing death defying stunts on a jungle gym, etc.  As a teenager I further refined my skills by pleading with her to buy me clothes, take me to McDonald’s for dinner and let me stay out late.  I became increasingly successful over the years.

As I’ve become an adult however, she’s toughened up a bit.

My Mom is, in fact, the toughest nut there is to crack.  When I want her to do something, she is the one person I know that no matter how hard I try to seduce her, I can’t get her to break unless she wants to.  Even then, it’s like dragging a boulder up a hill.   

I was on the phone with her the other day talking about the possibility of her coming to my May Seduction Retreat. Of course, I deeply, deeply desire for her to be there. She feels like the travel would be too much right now.  She just had a major surgery a few months ago and it takes a lot for her to get to the Northeast from the South.  My instinct upon hearing this was anger. “If she knew how important this was to me, she would come.”  I had the impulse to boss her into it, plead for her to come, or act nonchalant so as to try to trick her into it.  But this, my friends, is not seduction.  Not in the least.

There is a belief we have been taught about seduction that if we do not achieve the outcome we desire, we have failed in our seduction efforts.  This puts seduction in the realm of control and manipulation, assuming that a master seductress can get anything she wants, whenever she wants, through some sort of sneaky, unseen power. In my eyes however, this would be a move of insecurity and lack of trust.  The move of seduction is not to assert control, it is actually an act of giving up control.

How do we achieve seductive success 100% of the time? We acknowledge that seduction is a two-way street.  What I want the most for my retreat is to have a room full of women who REALLY want to be there. So I said to my Mom “look, I want you to be there, but only if you really want it. I am trusting you to trust your own intuition.”  Instantly we both felt better.  In saying this to her I had taken the seduction away from manipulation and into a place of MAGNETISM.  Magnets have the power to attract, and they also have the power to repel.  Seduction is a practice in surrendering to this force.  If I had asserted that my Mom must come to the retreat, she would resent me and resent being there.  By releasing my attachment to the outcome, I allow for my truth and her truth to intermingle, creating a whole new outcome – one that is far better than anything we could dream up on our own.

Will she come to the retreat? Stay tuned.

Will you come to the retreat? I am on the edge of my seat.  

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