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Monday, January 28, 2013

Seduction Series #5: Make Me Want It (The Art of Seductive Savoring)

This is the final post in my Seduction Series, a series designed to inform my readers about living a life of Sacred Seduction.  It has been so much fun to write, and oh, do I have so much more to tell.

This past weeks assignment was to practice savoring. I will explain a bit more about what savoring really is in a moment, but first let’s look at an example of what savoring can do in the life of a seductress.

I have a student who has completely revolutionized her relationship to dating by adopting the mantra “come to me with diamonds or do not come at all”.  Previously she would accept dinner invitations to places she didn’t want to go, from people she didn’t want to see. By learning how to savor and expect only the things she really, really wants, she is able to weed out people and experiences that would previously waste her time. 

Simplicity can be so seductive
Another student is experiencing major shifts in the way she keeps her home.  She used to buy anything and everything that was on sale in an effort to fill her closets, shelves, and home full of stuff.  To her, seeing a visual of emptiness signified not having enough - it would be better to have a closet full of stuff she half-liked than just a few items she really enjoyed.  Since learning how to savor, she has done a major purge of her cluttered home, and now enjoys opening the closet to see one set of fine white cotton sheets, rather than 5 sets of (her words) ‘heinous florals’.  As a result of de-cluttering her home, the rest of her life has begun to de-clutter too. 

The measure of a true seductress is not how many people or objects she has seduced into her life. The lifestyle of a seductress is actually quite slim and simplified. She strictly surrounds herself with the objects, people, relationships, behaviors and experiences she truly treasures, rather than cluttering her life with what she does not really want just to please her ego. She achieves this by learning how to savor each experience, one moment at a time, gleaning maximum satisfaction before moving on to something new.

Others might call this “being in the present moment”.  But savoring is actually more than that, because savoring involves not just enjoying the experience itself, but a sensation we often ignore or even discard:  the sensation of wanting. 

An example:

Aww yeah grape!
Photo by Liz Linder
Let’s say you receive a text from the person you went out with last night whom you really like.  “Oh My God!” you think as you retrieve the phone from your back pocket where you have been making sure it is on and working all day.  You grab the phone, see the person’s name, and instantly open it to see what’s inside.

Now, imagine this playing out a little differently.  The phone buzzes.  You feel the anticipation of who it could possibly be.  You slowly pull your phone out of your pocket, feeling the anticipation the whole time.  You see that the person in question is the one who sent you a text.  Rather than tearing into the message, you force yourself to hold off on opening it for a whole ten seconds, savoring all the possibilities of what the message might say. Really, it could say anything, good or bad.  As a seductress, through savoring the anticipation, it doesn’t even matter what the message says.  You have already gotten what you wanted from the experience: the thrill and excitement of this person’s attention.  Those 10 seconds of savoring are yours.  No matter what the message says, no one can take that away from you.

Savoring can be the most challenging practices of living a life of Sacred Seduction. It is a practice that is often sabotaged by the instant gratification culture we live in.  Have you noticed that high is the new normal? If we are not constantly doing something, consuming, being entertained, etc. we get instantly frustrated and bored.  Savoring requires a seduction skill that is near-endangered species: patience.

Practicing savoring my pre-show jitters
backstage at Cherrybomb
Burlesque.  Being best friends
 with Vivi Le Voix helps.  
Patience is something that can be practiced, cultivated, and REALLY enjoyed, in addition to making you a much more pleasurable person to be around.  You know how it is when a person doesn’t get what they want, and they go from being a mature, grounded person into an insecure child.  “The skirt I ordered for my date on Saturday won’t be here until Monday???!! WHAT??!!!”  Or, they completely give up on themselves: “Oh, the souffl√© takes an extra 15 minutes to make? I’ll just have a hamburger I guess”.  Or, they turn into a sweaty, wide-eyed, desperate werewolf:  “When am I going to hear about this job? They should have called me by today right? Call my phone and make sure it is working.  Send me an  email too, just in case.”

Oi!  Now I say they, but we all know who I am really talking about here, right?

ME! Savoring has been one of the hardest things to practice in seduction.  It has also been the most rewarding.  It has taught me that there is a whole valley of pleasure to be experienced between wanting and getting.  It has taught me to go for quality over quantity.  It has taught me to value and treasure the wholeness of an experience, not just the end result.  And this, like all sacred seduction techniques, so comes in handy when things go differently than expected. A seductress understands that there are things she can control, and things she cannot.  Through savoring we are given the freedom to surrender and give up control, opening us up to adventures we could have never even dreamed on our own.

Tell me in your comments: did you enjoy the practice of savoring the anticipation this week? If you haven't tried it, do so today and report back. I'm VERY interested to hear how it goes. 

This last lesson brings the seduction series to a close. Thank you for reading, commenting and doing the exercises. I learn so much from you. If you've enjoyed these posts and you'd like to hear all my Sacred Seduction Secrets (almost all), this coming weekend (February 1st and 2nd) is the last time I will be teaching Seduction Is A Spiritual Practice until the Fall.  Recently I had an amazing adventure in seduction as I sent my husband on a scavenger hunt to find me in NYC. If you’d like to hear that and other stories of mystery, intrigue and wanting, do join us in class Friday night. 

Blonde wigs are essential to Seduction Scavenger Hunts. Come hear the whole story this Friday night.

1 comment:

  1. I don't want it to end. Hmph!
    Maybe I'm savoring MORE. . . . Seduction. It's so yummy and a passionista can only desire more.